Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
