I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
