Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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