Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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