Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
