I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
