Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
