Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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