you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
