Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She told me I should be a condom model.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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