I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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