I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
