i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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