She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
