what day is it and did you see me today?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
