Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
