"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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