I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
