Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
