Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
