He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
