i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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