You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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