my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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