dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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