Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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