My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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