he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
