Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
