Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
