we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize