got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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