Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
