Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
COCAINE IS GR8
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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