I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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