she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
