I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
