So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
