that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
