I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize