Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
