she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
