Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
