So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
