Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
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