just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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