Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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