Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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