My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think your dad took our porno
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
