U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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