Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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