we're blogging at a bar
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
