I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
