I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
