I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
