I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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