I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
