Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
