You're so nebulous sometimes
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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