Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize