Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
