Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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