the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
