need another drink. this is the easiest way
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
