Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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