So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
