Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
